Cal Club Autocross Forums

Warning....
Couple of bad words as part of a graphic image.


http://www.tomsguide.com/us/slideshow/W ... -jpg-.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2009-12-02/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

A little British humor for Max: http://www.scenestealer.co.uk/carwash/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

No nudity or language, but might be NSFW depending on where you work.

ALL PUNS INTENDED


1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the
reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start
anything."


3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.


4. A dyslexic man walked into a bra.


5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and
one for the road."


6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"


7. "Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones
Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, It's Not Unusual."


8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was
artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true; no bull!"
exclaims Daisy.


9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.


10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.


11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't
feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know, I amputated your arms!"

13. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.


14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.


15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"


16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it
sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.


17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing
their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and
asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said. "I can't
stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."


18. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt , and
is named 'Ahmal.' The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him 'Juan.' Years later, Juan
sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband
that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've
seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."


19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set
of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet,
he suffered from bad breath. This made him... a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.


20. A dwarf, who was a mystic, escaped from jail. The call went out that there was a small medium at
large.


21. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope
that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Rick Brown wrote:A little British humor for Max: http://www.scenestealer.co.uk/carwash/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

No nudity or language, but might be NSFW depending on where you work.

I like how hey clean the mirrors. I might have to try that next time I wash my car.

Kurt Rahn wrote:

Rick Brown wrote:A little British humor for Max: http://www.scenestealer.co.uk/carwash/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

No nudity or language, but might be NSFW depending on where you work.

I like how hey clean the mirrors. I might have to try that next time I wash my car.

If you are talking about you doing it, no pics please..........

Tadd Ekstrand wrote:ALL PUNS INTENDED
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21. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope
that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

... but IT is the Best One ...

It's from an old Mythbusters episode but it is still AWESOME to wastch

http://www.autoblog.com/2009/12/06/vide ... -of-sound/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Christine Berry wrote:It's from an old Mythbusters episode but it is still AWESOME to wastch

http://www.autoblog.com/2009/12/06/vide ... -of-sound/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Wow! Watching the slow-mo from the direct side shot is amazing. The car just disappears, like a magician is waving his hand over it.

i can't see the video, but i remember watching the slowmo during the show.

check out the zebra stripes on the board in the background. the sled is moving so fast, that it literally pulls the zebra striping (i think it was done with tape?) off the backdrop.

Now that's the way take a Miata and "man it up a bit".

http://jalopnik.com/5422540/highways-of ... e/gallery/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Wooden car ... 4 $44K:

http://www.wonderhowto.com/wonderment/4 ... r-0113658/

Aaron Goldsmith wrote:

Holy crap!

Somebody finally figured out what a FIAT is good for....

More, when Animals take over ... Caterpillars! (courtesy of Seb!)

When it comes out of the cocoon is it an S2000?

Be careful out there!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgNpDBFKpwU" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Will Kalman wrote:Be careful out there!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgNpDBFKpwU" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

ROTF

So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, somebody had to come up with this, you know you're from California if:

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.

5. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. You can't remember . . .is pot illegal?

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal?Huh?

18. Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers and cosmetic surgeons.

19. The Terminator is your governor.

20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.

http://tinyurl.com/human-sled" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;